Calling older people sweet or kind is a ‘damaging stereotype’, say campaigners

Charity urges public to challenge people who use ‘patronising’ terms – but Esther Rantzen says it risks trivialising the problem of ageism

Calling older people “sweet” or “kind” fuels a “damaging stereotype” about ageing, a charity has said.
A campaign by the Centre for Ageing Better has urged the public to challenge their friends who use the “belittling” terms because they are “patronising”.
Other “ageist” phrases such as “I’m too old for this”, “having a senior moment” and “you look good for your age” should be dropped because they risk becoming “self-fulfilling prophecies”, the campaign advises.
It adds that anti-ageing creams can harm “our self-esteem and confidence as we get older” and even encourage people to undergo cosmetic surgeries.
In a five-part quiz on the charity’s website, which urges the public to test whether they are ageist or not, visitors are asked how they feel if a friend describes an older person as “sweet”.
Answering “it is belittling and I should call my friend out on it” prompts the on-screen response: “We agree – nobody should be judged to have particular attributes based on their age.
“Even ‘positive’ assumptions can be patronising or belittling.”
If you answer “I wouldn’t think much about it – older people can be really sweet” the quiz says: “They might mean it affectionately, but this stereotype – of older people being inherently ‘sweet’ and ‘kind’ – can be damaging.
“Research suggests that people who hold this view generally also think older people are less competent.”
The campaign, Age Without Limits, has installed billboards in train stations and other places around the country, which read: “Are you ageist?”
A handout available on the charity’s website called “Challenging ageism through everyday conversations, dialogue and discussion” says using the phrase “dear” is ageist, alongside “wrinkly”, “come on grandad” and “little old lady”.
The charity has been allotted £50 million in funding from the National Lottery Community Fund, a non-departmental public body, which awards grants to charities and good causes.
Dame Esther Rantzen, 83, the founder of The Silver Line, a help-line and support network for older people, criticised the campaign, saying the quiz trivialised ageism.
She said: “I absolutely hate this quiz There are words which are profoundly offensive, because they are racist, because they are obscene.
“But the words this quiz is attempting to ban do not fall into either of these categories. I fear it trivialises the very real problem in this country with ageism.”
She added that she is “delighted” when her children, on the rare occasion, call her “sweet” and said the charity itself was having a “senior moment” if it took the quiz seriously.
Dr Carole Easton, the chief executive of the Centre for Ageing Better, said: “Ageism is the prejudice that’s hidden in plain sight.
“We see and hear casual ageism every day, it’s embedded in our society and even accepted as normal by many of us who are older.”
“Ageism scars lives. It is often dismissed as being harmless but if you look at the research or speak to people whose lives have been affected by ageism, you will soon realise ageist ideas or beliefs can be incredibly damaging for us as individuals and for wider society.”